|Image courtesy of Ambro / |
Saturday, 10 May 2014
Do we really need 'Mother's Day'?
I often hear this question from many people, men and women alike. They say it’s a western world’s gimmick, which we have aped. “Why should only one day be ‘mother’s day’? Shouldn’t we respect and nurture mothers every single day?”
That’s a beautiful sentiment, I agree. But unfortunately none of us really do it. Oh we love our mothers, no doubt. But how many of us express it every day? How many of us try to understand their day to day problems, their small and big victories, their worries, their feeling of isolation, their overwhelming love? How many times have we offered them our partnership (not just occasional help)? How many times have we encouraged them to just leave everything and go meet their friends? They never take time for themselves. They are eternally worried whether our activities and comfort will be interrupted, if they go out with friends for a coffee, a movie - for anything, in fact. It’s funny how, unknowingly we also contribute to this worry. Instead of encouraging them to go out we start harassing them with questions and phone calls, asking ‘where is this’ and ‘where is that’. Finally the impression that they (and everybody else!) get, is that their family is a helpless bunch. As helpless as a newborn babe… It’s laughable really, how willing we are to be considered incompetent babies. We are only willing to see the wife, the mom or the grand mom in them. We conveniently forget the woman underneath.
I am myself a woman, but the truth is that I am also guilty of treating my mom and grandma like this. It’s only now, when I entered the world of motherhood, that I really understand the loss of identity they have suffered for years - because of me. Only now am I able to truly empathize with them. Today every time I wish for an uninterrupted hour to myself, I am reminded of the thoughtlessness of my past.
Today I truly understand that it is not their ‘job’ to look after me. It was their choice and I should be grateful to them for making that choice. After all, they could have chosen not to worry about giving us healthy food, about us coming late, about our character-formation, our studies, our friends… basically, they could have chosen not to worry themselves into an early grave. But the fact is, I don’t think about all this most days. Only on a Women’s Day or a Mother’s Day do I take a step back and at least look at them…really look at them. So ladies and gentlemen, ‘Mother’s Day’ is not really for mothers...It’s for all of us…to think about this gift called Mother that God has given us, and to really revere them, to worship them….